Communicating end of life wishes and effective estate planning is a significant part of living.
| Pride and Grief; Bad Mix | |
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Many times a family is not propared for a funeral. The immediacy of the need to make decisions combined with grief and trying to guess "what (he) would have wanted" creates a very stressful situation. All too often, professionals in the funeral business use these factors to extract as much as ten times as much money from your wallet (decedent's estate) as might be necessary.
My father was very clear. "Find a pine box and put me in it. Do not spend good money on a box that will have dirt on it before the check clears!"
When my wife's mother died, no one knew. Siblings who had trouble communicating about where the family Christmas party would be held were now faced with having to agree on something within hours. The combined grief, guilt and dysfunction created a windfall for the funeral director. All of a sudden, the son who had borrowed the estate into insolvency wanted the best vault, casket, flower arrangement and body preparation. But, refused to sign for financial responsibility -- because only he knew there would be no money left in the estate.
Who knows what she would have wanted. She never told anyone -- anything, really. We just did not know it.
Sound like this could happen to your family? You will find significant help at The Center for Intergenerational Communication. Not only is the CFIC a great source for knowing what issues to address, it provides many resources to research and record the decisions an individual or family makes.
One of the centerpiece products of The CFIC is the expansive Here to Hereafter: Everything My Family Needs to Know. In an exceptionally well-designed (and patented) PanaVu(R) storage binder, there are over 70 pages of questions with spaces for the answers to be filed in the volume's 12 sections. Questions ranging from the preferred music at your funeral to who should get your cat? Specifically, Section 9: Final Wishes is the tab under which your family will find your decisions as they relate to dozens of questions about your preferences for your memorial, funeral and interment. Your wishes will be clear and in your handwriting.
Pride can be expensive. Save your family the stress by telling them what they need to know to respect your wishes.
(c) 2005 CFIC